I am filled with so many emotions...but mostly scared to death right now. I cry even as I write this, in fact I cry all the time. It's like there is a continuous supply of tears...I just can't wait until they are tears of joy instead of tears of fear. Knowing the tomorrow is the big day is making today even harder, it makes the reality of it much more real. For so long it could be today or tomorrow, but now I know that it is definately tomorrow, no matter what.
I am scared of all things unknown and know that I just need to hand it over to God...but still I am scared. Dan has been a rock through these last few days and he keeps reassuring me of the things I doubt. But all this time that I keep thinking that I want it over (the pregnancy part), now I wish I could just keep him safe and warm inside for a little while longer:) I think I just need to call Katie or Jody and have them tell me how wonderful it is to have a baby...because right now I am not feeling the excitement (it comes and goes I think).
So that is how I am feeling at 11:50am today! If I come back in a couple of hours it may have changed and it may not have changed, but it doesn't change the fact that in less than 48 hours I will have a baby boy in my arms and our lives will have changed overnight.
Thank you all for your prayers and continued prayers as the next couple of days will be when we need them the most. God has been so good to us this far, I know He will carry us through and still be carrying us when we get to the other side (see my emotions have already changed a little and I am not even done typing this post:)
Talk to you all on the flip side:)
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4 comments:
Sweet Heather- Your emotions are very normal. I remember my mom telling me that she just wanted to keep me safe and warm inside her- knowing I would always be there and safe. But then she would have missed all the wonderful times we have had...the hard times as well, they make us learn. Your boy is going to be wonderful and bring you much joy and those tears will soon be all of happiness. Your husband loves you greatly and will still stay strong for you. I can't wait to come home. I miss everyone so much and am excited to meet my baby cousin boy. love you
Much love to you Heather. It's amazing to think so soon you will be a mommy. Be strong and couragous. Do NOT be afraid, for the LORD your GOD is with you wherever you go! Joshua 1:9 Through labor and beyond he is with you, guiding you, teaching you and equipping you. Be blessed!
Thank you both Terra and Sarah!! I am no longer afraid only excited for what is about to take place...the miracle of life:) Love you both!!
I'm writing this now, but I know you are at the hospital either having or getting ready to have your little Gil!
It's good to see that you are scared and a variety of emotions. I think those are the things that will make you a good mother as well. Wanting to protect your child. But, also being strong and ready for what is to come.
I'm praying!
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